The Man Behind the Curtain

Unfortunately some of us spend a great deal of our lives trying to project an image similar to that of the Great Oz. Pretending to be all-powerful and all knowing. Approachable, but not without trepidation. It comes from the want to appear as the leader and mysterious powerful wizard that can fix anything. Answer any question. Grant any request. In reality, there is a different person, a person much smaller and nothing at all like that of the Oz.
Not so mysterious, and not so powerful at all.

We always lived with this wall to hide behind, that probably more closely resembles, a curtain of sorts. The same the Great Oz himself hid behind. Never letting anyone get too close and seldom if ever letting anyone see behind it. The man behind the curtain is nothing like the man out front. The one everyone thinks they know.

Every once and while, with so many years in between, someone comes along and without prompting or without an initial reason, reveals that true person, if to no one but themselves. They bully their way in for a closer look. We try to continue hiding and tell them “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”. They catch a glimpse of the real you. Nervousness sets in and worries, that now everyone will find out that we were a fake all this time.

Our mornings begin with a simple thought of a certain person and some funny incident that brings a smile to our face. The night ends pretty much the same way. They appeared out of nowhere, quite by chance. We spend countless hours trying to sort through remarks made and gestures noticed. Uncertain and confused about what is going on, and whether it has a broader meaning.  Whether or not what we see in this other person is real or imagined. We recognize our attraction to them and we don’t know if it’s reciprocated, so we err on the side of caution. If they find out, we fear they may run away. We fear they may cause us trouble, make it public, just to push us away. We continue to hide behind the curtain.

You recognize there are a thousand little things that suggest you are cut from the same mold, perhaps, kindred spirits. You realize there are many years in between, and great risks littering the path between you. You feel a connection is made but you’re not quite sure what to do about it, if anything at all. You want to but you can’t. You weigh the options, you calculate the chances and you make a decision to tell the person what your struggling with, only to discard the notion and pull the curtain closed. It gets repeated every single day.

We go through this damn life telling people what we think but never tell them what we feel. I’m not sure why. It’s just the nature of things I guess. Perhaps it’s an old fashion fear. We can think of a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t, while we only need one reason why we should.  If we had the courage, the brains and the heart, we would at least like to let them know, they have made an indelible mark on our life. We would like to tell them we are grateful for the opportunity to meet them and grateful for the way they make us feel.

If we had any courage at all, absent of any fear, we would tell them at the very least, what a wonderful person they are and the difference they are making in this life. Courage is funny thing, because when there is much at stake, there is much to consider, and rather than take that leap, we just quietly pull the curtain closed and hope someone else decides to open it.

Author Unknown