Telemarketers Beware
I recently enjoyed reading Don West’s latest installment of “The Way I See It”. The topic was telemarketers and his obvious lack of patience with them. While reading the article it reminded me of my own past experiences with telemarketers. I don’t get very many anymore, and quite frankly, I miss some of those calls. I think I may have inadvertently caused them to pull my name from their call list. I am beginning to think they hate to call me.
After nightly attempts at defending myself against the onslaught of telemarketing calls, I decided to go on the offensive.
I figured that the telemarketer’s time is money. So I consume their time. If you can waste their time, he/she won’t make any money. Next thing you know your blacklisted and nobody calls.
The next time a telemarketer calls.... talk to them! In a very short time you will have them...hanging up on you!
Here are a few things I have done, that you might try.
Be adamant that you already have the service they are trying to sell you. Try to downgrade your service level to the cheapest thing they are offering. You have to be creative and you may have to argue with the telemarketer. Tell them you are thinking about disconnecting the service or stop using the product, and they will switch gears and try to talk you into keeping it. After 20 minutes or so tell them your not interested and hang up.
Telemarketers calling to take surveys are my favorite. I always ask if I will receive valuable discount coupons and they always lie and say yes. To date I have not received the first discount coupon. Upon hearing, I will be the recipient of these coupons, I will make loud gestures of excitement, even yelling out to my wife to let her know the good news. I will ramble on and on about how great coupons are. To the telemarketer I am a coupon junky. Then I ask what I have to do. They reply...”take this 5 minute survey”. To which I reply...not interested...”CLICK!”
During surveys I will also argue with the person taking the survey. I will make them lose their place on their questionnaire. After the 4th question and things are going good, I tell them they just asked that question 2 questions ago, or provide and answer from multiple choice that is not offered. I have had several who said...”Lets start over”. Judging by the surveys I have taken, it appears the first 3 questions and the last 3 questions seem to be the most important. I always deny them the last 3 questions. I always ask them “how many questions are left”? When they say 3...I simply say “I’m not interested”...CLICK!
My all time favorite was the time I was called and was told “Mr. Semmes you have been selected for an opportunity to win a trip to Branson Missouri, all expenses paid!” I jumped up and down and screamed to my wife that we won a trip to Branson, all expenses paid. I followed up with about 10 oh my gush’s. The telemarketer obviously heard the level of excitement on her end of the phone. The telemarketer tried to interrupt and clarify the misunderstanding. I told her it was the greatest day of my life because I never won anything before, and my wife and I never went to Branson before. We did go to Holly Beach once though. She kept trying to clarify the misunderstanding and I wouldn’t listen or let her finish her sentences. Finally I let her speak and she explained that I had not actually won the trip only an opportunity to win it. In a monotone, non-hostile voice I said, “oh, we didn’t?”....”No sir...you didn’t”. “Oh! I’m not interested...CLICK!
If you’re tired of telemarketers wasting your time...try wasting theirs. Next thing you know you will be blacklisted too!
When I’m not up to the task I simply say “My wife takes care of that and her name is Susan and you can usually reach her on her day off on Thursdays and you should call as early as possible before she leaves the house...and don’t take No for an answer!...CLICK!